Sunday morning, I woke up crying.
There was a weight on my chest and my throat was constricted from sobs. My mind was dwelling on the downside, and my heart was burdened with the cares of the world... or at least the cares of my world. A sense of dread permeated my entire being and I could not articulate the depth of my despair. So I lay there weeping, my thoughts trudging from one negative to the next, searching for the light: one child struggling to make ends meet with a new baby and waning work revenue; another child self-destructing with debt, divorce and decisions that make things worse; the third child unemployed, unmarried, living back home with a baby and her momma and struggling with depression; health issues, parents' health issues; never-ending housework; unfinished projects around the house and yard; changes at work, with my boss approaching retirement; political troubles here and overseas... on and on with no end in sight. Where was my sunshine?
Suddenly, a gentle arm slipped under my pillow and it's partner curved around my shoulder. My love just held me, held me, then sweetly kissed away my tears, mopped the drops out of my ears, and just loved me. Slowly, slowly, my sobs subsided. Slowly, slowly, I was able to redirect my mind back to the bright side: a beautiful house in a beautiful setting; opportunity for travel; abundance all around me; three beautiful grandbabies; friends and family gathered for the Holidays; the strength of love in our marriage; salvation through Christ - always there, underpinning all the hope I have now or will ever have.
Love is my sunshine.
Now all I need to do is learn how to hold on....
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