This is my 4th Monday of my post-layoff unemployment, or as a friend put it, funemployment. I guess that's one way to look at it... I have an opportunity to relax and do some of the things I enjoy without having to "worry" about going to work. However, there is no escaping the feelings of inadequacy and invisibility that come with being surplussed. It's hard to just have a good time when somewhere in my mind a tiny voice keeps saying "they didn't need you - they will be fine without you - your work had no value anyway!" It takes a lot of conscious effort to disregard that voice and move forward. I find myself applying for jobs that are way below my ability level, for instance, because I worry that I won't be able to do well at that level - you know, better to be the best of a lower class than the worst of a higher...
It's taking me a lot of self-talk and reassurance from my friends, family and ex-co-workers to stay focused on the future - lots more than I had thought it would. I know I tend to over-think most things, but I really thought I'd be over it by now and really ready to move on. Maybe getting older effects one's ability to mentally heal as much as it effects physical healing... Somebody should do a study!
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