Day 2 of Unemployment

Well, here it is Tuesday, the second day of work I'm not working because of my lay-off. I worked through my grief and depression, self-pity and self-deprecation over the weekend (still working through the anger); received lots of emails, phone calls, etc. from friends and family offering words of encouragement and support; dove into the bible to find more encouragement and hope (and shared some passages on Facebook). I even completed my unemployment registration and made my required three job contacts for the week! So now what?

I thought it would be cathartic, and maybe even interesting, to chronicle my transition from employee to unemployed and back again. I saw a series in the newspaper recently (yes, I still read the newspaper!) following the story of a laid-off professional young woman. I wonder how it would compare to a laid-off professional "old" woman? Let's find out!

Friday, after I received my notice, I cleaned out my personal stuff from my desk and tried to show my boss the status of some projects I had underway. I felt awful - in shock, sad, grieving over a position into which I had poured my heart. By the time I got home, I was enraged! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME! I texted my co-workers about the event and used some choice expletives... which I normally do not use. I got home and evaded notice by my son and my mother and hid upstairs. Grief consumed me again as I communicated with my darling hubby about the events of the day. I told him I was hibernating with a box of tissues, curled up in bed. when he got home, he brought me a glass of wine (I really love this guy) then went back down to make dinner. He brought it up to me on a tray! So sweet. I felt very cherished and well-taken care of. Then my darling hubby told me not to worry about it - we would be ok once the unemployment kicked in and in the meantime, just relax. Later he told me not to worry about anything for a month or so - just do whatever I want and get my head together before really putting my heart into the job search. (I REALLY love this guy!) He cuddled me to sleep...

The weekend was filled with yard work and housework. We actually completed a project we started over a year ago! The ceiling fan is up in the bedroom! I was kind of numb, as long as I kept busy... so I kept busy! Though it was tempting to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself, I resisted and kept moving. I read somewhere once that motion implies purpose - that seemed to be what I needed since my "purpose" as a earner for the family had just been wiped out.

Yesterday, my first day of not going to work, I alternated between working in the garden and checking my email accounts & facebook to stay connected to my friends. It seemed the cruelest part of being laid off is the involuntary severing of so many relationships with co-workers, vendors, customers, etc. I sent out some emails to the people I had worked with explaining the situation and giving them direction on who to contact for the things I used to do. My mom (who lives next door) and I weeded the driveway. Sounds strange, I know, but we have a driveway with lots of holes in it. I mean, LOTS of holes! We laid it out, 65 pound brick by 65 pound brick, tamping in the sand, lining the up just so, leveling them out. Mom calculated how many holes there were once, but I have blocked that number from my mind :) The idea is to plant each hole with moss or some other ground cover that can withstand regular traffic. Anyway, we haven't finished planting the holes yet, so the remaining ones need to be weeded from time to time.

That brings us to today! So far, I have done ok - no tears, no self-pity. I went out in the garden early and picked tomatoes - so ripe and sweet! The soft rain felt good on my back, and the smell of the wet earth filled my being with joy! I check my email for job offers... none yet. I touched base with some friends. I think today I will tackle the laundry room. It's a wreck - sharing the laundry room with my son and his fiance has been a huge challenge - almost as big as sharing the kitchen! Maybe I can get them to pitch in and at least get their stuff out so I can give it a good cleaning.

Check in tomorrow to see what's new on Day 3!